Do You See Your Body Like This?
Sarah cried out, “My legs are too big in the photo!” But, I pointed out, your legs aren’t in the photo. “I know,” she replied, “but they would have been.” This was as she viewed her images from her boudoir / nude photography session.
This is a common expression of a widespread struggle for women. The conflict of how you see yourself compared to how the world sees you. They so often don’t align.
An Influencer Gets Real With Her Looks
Louise Audrey, the Instagram influencer, struck a social media cord with her “What you see What I see” photo. In a moment of honesty and bravery, she labelled her bikini glamour photo with mirror comments. She could have been in boudoir, lingerie, or nude; the result would have been the same.
Most of the headlines for her image and story scream, “This Photo Nails The Way Women Criticize Their Bodies.” Her comments about her body and its flaws may have been over the top, but they were honest. You have to wonder what her comments would have been if she was looking at images from a nude photography session
Even Self-Love Coaches Struggle
She explains she preaches self-love, but she still struggles with pictures of herself. It’s a hypocritical approach the mind seems quite comfortable with. When looking at other women’s photos, she first sees all their assets and great features. With her own images: boom! Right to the flaws, be they real or imagined. They are all blown out of proportion in a way her mind immediately accepts as real.
Magnifying the problem is the considerable number of photos taken of women, mostly taken badly, which seem to focus on flaws. It is hard to focus on loving yourself with those perceived faults screaming at you.
Not to forget all the body-shaming social media shenanigans that pop up so often.
This Is What I Have Found
After photographing over 5,000 women over my 40 years in business, I have found that as important as the final image is, the experience of getting there is as important. It anchors the validation of personal beauty found in the photos. In that process is the real and valid sense of control, of being part of creating their image.
One thing I share with my clients is perspective. Any time they encounter a terrible photograph of themselves, it is always the photographer’s fault. They picked the lens, the light, the moment, the pose. Every time they see a fantastic image of themselves, it’s them that gave it that something extra to elevate the impact. Their photographer was ready, everything else was great, then they did their thing.
Rose Coloured Glasses Please
There should be some rose colour glasses invented for women to see themselves as those who love them do. It would be a startling realization for every woman who wears them.
Sarah, with her revealing comment that started this blog, did find her beauty in her images. Once she got past her knee-jerk reaction to images of herself, she began to enjoy how she looked. That is exciting because she had done the big leap and gone with many nudes. We have so many women who have left raves about their experience with their boudoir / nude photography experience.
So, when you look at an image of yourself, what do you see? Just the flaws? Just the assets? A healthy mix?
Leave a comment on what you would like to see.