A Calgary Boudoir Photographer’s Insight Into Why the Most Popular Image Isn’t Always the Right One—for Her
Her boudoir photo shoot was incredible! She daringly exposed the full range of her personality. She got bolder and more vulnerable than she believed she could. She is pretty excited to select images for a book, but even more so for her bedroom wall.
A friend comes in tow to her Selection Session . . . to help pick that perfect image.
(She rarely needs this; in her heart, she will know which is right for her.)
They look at her images, oohs and aahs abound. Then the moment I know is coming, she turns and asks, “What do you think? Which is the best for the bedroom wall?”
It happens nearly all the time. There is a pause as her friend looks at the images. I have already made a mental note of which I think her friend will choose and which I believe is the one my client will want.
“That one,” the partner says, pointing to the screen. “The one where you’re smiling — looking up, eyes twinkling. That’s the one. You should definitely get that one.”
Yup, I guessed it.
Smiles are powerful. They connect. They make people feel good. A joyful expression, especially on someone you love, radiates a kind of warmth that’s instantly familiar. They will add a descriptor; It’s that bold one with the smile, that playful smile or like it is so obvious, just “the one with her great smile”
Now my clients enjoy these smiling images because they do feel good. There’s nothing inauthentic about that.
But the boudoir image with her smile is hardly ever the photo she chooses. It is rarely the most powerful image in the collection of nude and boudoir pics.
When a woman views her images alone, without outside voices or influences, she embraces something different. Something quieter. Something deeper.
It is easy to spot; when we first talked, the elements were framed in terms of what she was seeking to get from her session. This is what makes me an authority in creating powerful, timeless boudoir pictures.
She picks the image that resonates with her.
It could be a portrayal of her power, seeing her own beauty for the first time. Seeing her younger, fearless self or even unguarded vulnerabilities.
She was seeking something when she came to us, Inner Spirit Photography. The Inner Spirit part, spoke to her, she trusted that with that name, we would uncover what she desired.
This is the difference between selecting images that make others feel good and choosing the ones that speak to her own quest.
In my studio, I often see this contrast. And both choices are valid.
But when a woman selects for herself—without commentary or comparison—she chooses images that support her growth, her healing, her becoming.
That’s the real magic of a boudoir session. It’s not about looking sexy. It’s about seeing yourself differently.
I love to share stories that perhaps you can relate to, women who have come in, seeking breathtaking images. Some looking for that smile, others not.
Meet Sarah And Her Crooked Grin
Sarah was nervous about her smile.
“It always comes out crooked,” she said, her hand almost apologetically brushing her cheek. But when she smiled—truly smiled—her whole face lit up. Her friends rarely noticed, but she was acutely aware of it, ever since seeing her first photo with it.
Not a concern, I explained. I have a few photo tricks for that. She could see them in camera. It’s not retouching—Once Sarah saw herself on screen—saw how genuinely warm she looked—she couldn’t stop smiling. Naturally, we explored her expressive range. It became easier, more natural. Yes, her friend who came along picked that smile shot. Sarah, for her wall, found something subtle with powerful body language resonating more. Oh, another popular move, she sent a smile photo to her mom, who was delighted.
Gretta’s Dentist Started The Transition
Gretta’s dentist noticed that even after her dental work, transforming her teeth, she still rarely smiled. Years of habit kept her mouth shut. He not only recommended her to us, but he also paid for her session. He felt it would have that much of an impact on her.
A big part of her session was to get her smiling comfortably. It was a bit comical at first. Her mouth would struggle with conflicting commands, smile, but keep the mouth closed. It twitched and struggled. I would do or say things that would honestly amuse her. The top half of her face was full of mirth, the bottom half, her mouth, could not decide what to do.
I took her through some exercises that relaxed her mouth; her smile started emerging. Seeing her smile on the back of the camera bolstered her confidence. What she liked the most was the soft smiles, not the big popular grin. Her teeth still showed, with her expression being more understated.
Oh, she did have a big smile shot printed for her Dentist. That image with her warm, mysterious smile made it to her wall. She laughed, saying she was wearing nothing but her smile!
Kate Not Smiling At All
Kate came in unsure what the session would stir in her, where her mood in the moment would go. She was curious how she would react, what she would project. She was on a journey, or perhaps, a quest was a better description.
Kate explained, “I am at an odd place in my life. A crossroads with a road less travelled in front of me, but shrouded in fog, undefined and unclear. My instincts took me here, I believe I will find clarity here.”
I connected with her mood. Her images reflected her dreamy, seeking state of mind. Her gaze always drifted from the camera to some far-off horizon. We opted for timeless poses and minimalist sets. Her expressions were full of delicate nuances of a woman contemplating her path. Her expressions were warm, content, and comfortable, but only a twitch of a smile.
For 4 hours she alternated between nudes and layers of lace and satin. No distractions, she flowed in her moment. At her selection session, she thanked me for creating such a clean contemplative space. She had found her core and now knew her direction. Her wall image was softly tinted black and white nude of her looking at her far horizon. She struggled with the title for her book, filled with the rest, to title it Discovery or Clarity.
When They Don’t Jive
As you may know, smiling on command hardly ever works unless you are an actor or model. For the rest of us, there is a disconnect between the smile and the body language. Sometimes even the smile and the eyes don’t “jive”.
For over 45 years, I’ve been fine-tuning my process, creating an “emotional flow” that brings a woman’s body language into sync with her emotional state—whether she’s laughing, reflecting, or radiating confidence. It’s intuitive now, so subtle that my clients are rarely aware of it when in the moment. It also helps to calm nerves quickly, so they feel the safety of the studio.
This allows their authenticity to surface, letting them express themselves from deep within.
Crystal’s Quiet Command
Crystal was soft-spoken, with a delicate voice and a name she loved—but one that came with assumptions.
“Let’s be real,” she said, “you can’t look commanding, super confident, with a big smile. It just looks evil if you do. I need to be stoic. Fearless.”
She was right. Her session was about power — not performative, not cute. We found the balance: a strong, timeless expression that defied her gentle exterior. And when she saw that image, her reaction said everything.
The Power of a Warm Face
There’s an expression I cherish: a warm face. It’s not a grin. It’s not seductive. It’s layered. It’s timeless.
A warm face has the softness of thoughtfulness, the strength of stillness, and the mystery of unspoken emotion. It adapts to the viewer’s mood—sometimes projecting sensuality, sometimes calm, sometimes an unguarded vulnerability.
Many women, when choosing their final image, seek this expression—because it keeps giving. It evolves with them.
The Truth Behind “Take the Smile”
So yes, the friend or partner saying to “Take the one with the smile” is valid.
Yet, that special, timeless image for the wall will be the more complex one that resonates at a deeper level. These are the type of images that transcend the smile, that have an expression that is, oddly, flexible. It changes the entire mood or impact of the wall piece, depending on the viewer’s mood in that moment. You can find different stories in it even years later.
A Calgary boudoir photo session isn’t about looking good for someone else. It’s about seeing yourself differently. About capturing more than a mood—capturing a truth.
And sometimes, the truth smiles.
Sometimes, it stands in stillness.
Either way, it’s always hers.